I wanted to be able to write about a wonderful ritual to honor Persephone as she returns to her throne. But I am ashamed to say I didn't perform one. I've been avoiding a lot of things recently, and it has finally spilled over into my spiritual life.
I found myself listening to the Christian music station in the car yesterday morning, and that is when it hit me. My problem is not that my trials and such are too big. My problem is that I have not found an avenue for comfort along the pagan pathways. My support network is barely supportive, and the last several times I went to the Gods, I opened the gates and found myself with nothing to say. I am empty, and I have nothing left to give. As I sat there alone in my car listening to the immense amount of love and comfort the Christians receive from their God, my eyes welled up with tears, because there isn't anything like this in my life anymore.
I know not all things from my early religious days will be replaced by some wonderful and perfect, pagan-themed equivalent. However, much like prayer, I don't see any reason why comfort should belong to the Christians alone. Prayer is for all Gods. Comfort is for all people. Some pagans call it "healing" or "energy work" or "positive vibes," but I miss the notion of pure, unadulterated emotional comfort.
I went in search (on the internet) of music, because I relate almost all things to music, and I found a lot of good songs! I found songs about many of the Deities I honor, songs about nature, songs about the Earth Mother, songs about general themes of Neopagan High Days, songs of humor, songs of worship and praise, and musical versions of more myths than I can count—but there is a big whole where songs about the love the Gods offer back to us are supposed to be.
Since I cannot find an equivalent for comfort music, I suppose I will have to continue to write. I have written a song or two about calling on the Gods for aid in our times of need, but my aim this time is not necessarily for divine help or to remind folks that prayer is an option. My aim is to show that Our Gods can offer us love and comfort, too. It might seem like a "Christian carry-over" as I have been accused many times, but we all have to walk our own paths and make our own decisions regarding our relationships with Deity. For me, my relationships are full of love and devotion. Not many pagans admit to loving their Gods, but I love mine. I make no apologies for that. And I fully believe they love me in return. I make no apologies for that, either.
I live in a World Full of Gods, and many Gods offer many helping hands.