Hidden

You’re with me when I wake each day.
You’re with me when I sleep.
You crowd my thoughts throughout the day—
A secret I must keep.

I think of you as I retire,
Call out your name at night.
I see your face in all my dreams.
Your face is my life’s light.

Pre-chorus:
But darkness comes in somber waves
As I reach for your hand.
Mirage, a figment of my mind.
Alone, alone I stand.

Chorus:
I stand and watch you watching her,
Hoping you’ll see me.
When she’s around I don’t exist.
I am not pretty.

Friendship has its benefits.
In me you do confide.
I listen quite objectively
And put my heart aside.

I tell you all I’d want from you
If I were in her place,
And smile, smile, smile on
To keep truth off my face.

Pre-chorus:
I don’t have to fake the joy
I find in your success.
I want you to be happy, I
Just want it to hurt me less.

Bridge:
I’ll keep it hidden.
I’ll keep it hidden.
I’ll keep it hidden from you. (2X)

Chorus:
I stand and watch you watching her,
Hoping you’ll see me.
When she’s around I don’t exist.
I am not—
Pretty as a picture like
She is in your eyes.
And one more day I stand alone
With a smile as my disguise.

So go to her and be as one.
I’ll stay here where I sit
Content to know there’s still a place
In your life where I do fit.

A Soul's Journey

Restless, conflicted and broken
Naked, before you I stand
Consumed by what was and what never shall pass
Hair cascading down my back

Silent tears I refuse to spill
Your touch inflaming my flesh
A heart once wide open, bound now in chains
Hesitate, then embrace

Pain for the loss, for the wounds on my soul
Reflections of me in your eyes
So cold is the silence that reigns now inside
Your kiss awakening my soul

My soul, my soul flies in raven-cloaked glory
Alight on the wings of my dreams
Carried away by your sweet song of hope
For nothing exists as it seems

Who are you that hides when you stare in my face
I yield myself to your desire
Telling me I’m just a piece of myself
Illuminating, inspired

Memories stirred plague my dreams through the night
Wandering hands fan the flames
Deafening silences bounce round my room
Everything, everything
Everything, everything
Everything, all falls away

My soul, my soul flies in raven-cloaked glory
Alight on the wings of my dreams
Carried away by your sweet song of hope
For nothing exists as it seems

Alone one more night, alive one more day
As one, all the world fades away
I turn up my face to the sun and the sky
And fly away, fly far away

My soul, my soul flies in raven-cloaked glory
Alight on the wings of my dreams
Carried away by your sweet song of hope
For nothing exists as it seems

My soul, my soul flies in raven-cloaked glory
Whispers of hatred now fade
Carried away by your sweet song of hope
Into the future I’ve made
And into the future I fade

Apart

I treasure all those moments
Wrapped within your arms
Content and spent and heaven sent
Safe from fear and harm
I linger in those memories
Let them fill my mind
To try and keep my tears away
When your hand can’t reach mine

Chorus:
I drive too fast on my way to you
On my way to your embrace
I race toward your loving arms
To see the smile upon your face
But when I leave you, I drive slowly
With an ache inside my heart
For every mile I’m closer to home
Is one more we’re apart

Alone inside my room at night
The coldness in my bed
The emptiness that creeps inside
My weary, lonely head
Are constant when you’re far away
So very hard to take
For loneliness and sorrow do
Poor companions make

Chorus

Bridge:
I cry myself to sleep at night
While memories put up a fight
To keep me up when I’m alone
Without you here, it’s not a home

And then we stand as one once more
As trees whose roots entwine
Rooted deeply, we stand strong
In love that’s touched divine
Our branches reach up through the sky
Beyond the loftiest height
Where Gods and Angels make their homes
It’s there our love takes flight

Chorus

Silent Anticipation

Here I stand,
Waiting so patiently.
My mind wandering,
Seeking, hoping, dreaming.
Remembering what has come before,
Looking on toward what is yet to come.

And then it happens:
A quickening of my pulse,
A sensual catch in my breath.
All so seemingly slight,
Yet deep and satisfying.

A soft smile creeps onto my face
As I slowly recognize this sensation,
This set of responses
Lost and suppressed for so long.

I rejoice in the return of the butterflies
And all they stand for
As I continue to wait
In silent anticipation
For you.

Daybreak

Lazy morning sunlight creeps through the windows
Softening the shadows on your face
Playing in the hair round your brow
Stirring you from your dreams

Slowly your eyes open and find me there
In the quiet of the dawn
With Eostre’s kiss upon us
And your lips seeking to find mine

Cradled in the warmth of sleep
Silently feeling one another in lucid bliss
Awakening the senses
Awakened and alive

The early morning is our time
Before the world begins her day
Before the household joins the fray
Before time locks us away from one another again

Behold, your face so close to mine
Behold, your hands upon my hips
Behold, your love wrapping us in its embrace
Behold, all these things echoed back to you in full

Behold, you
Behold, me
Behold, us
Together

A Baltic Tale of Night and Day

Golden-haired Saule sat alone, spinning her amber wheel, weaving the very thread of life when the Moon first laid eyes upon her. Fiery Saule, richly dressed in golden silk raiment and crowned with shining jewels, was a vision of sparkling loveliness that Menulis could not resist. Menulis, silver-dressed Guardian of Night and Time, won the heart of his Balta Saulite, his Darling Little Sun, after much courting, and they were wed in the Primeval Spring. First born to the Sun and Moon was Žeme, the Earth, followed by Vakarine, the evening star, and most beautiful Aušrine, the morning star.

The family fell quickly into routine. Aušrine burned the morning fire and made Saule ready for her journey across the sky, for every morning Saule drove her Chariot of Fire into the sky, leading her white mares on to the Baltic Sea where she was met by her companion, Perkunele, who bathed the weary Sun Maiden at the end of her journey. Saule’s chariot was transformed into a gilded boat when it reached the sea, and guided by Perkunele, she sailed home to where Vakarine had prepared her bed that she may rise, rested and prepared for the next day’s journey.

Each day’s journey was shared with the bearded Sky God, Perkunas the Thunder, who rode alongside Saule in his own chariot, carrying his lightning-bolt sword and stone axe. Needless to say, Perkunas and Saule were close as brother and sister, and it was with great sadness in his heart that Perkunas noted the roving of Menulis. Saule, who rose very early, retired for the evening shortly after Menulis ascended to rule the night, and he was easily and often led astray by the shimmer of a nearby star while Saule slept. Perkunas was keenly aware when Menulis became overly interested in Aušrine, the Morning Star, even more beautiful than her mother with her mother’s golden hair, adorned with a sun crown and a starry mantle closed with a moon-shaped brooch. One fatal morning, as he was returning from a night alone in the sky, Menulis gave in to his obsessive desires and took Aušrine as she prepared the fires for her mother, tearing her starry mantle and flippantly tossing aside her crown. Perkunas became so enraged at the sight that he slashed at Menulis with his lightning sword, leaving the scars on his face that may be seen in the night sky even still.

Saule was so angry with Menulis for his infidelity that she declared an end to their marriage, banishing him to dwell in the night sky alone. With her head held high and her daughters by her side, Saule continued her work on her own, the Matriarch of the Sky who watches all the Children of the Earth herself and still finds time to dance upon the hills in silver shoes with joy in her heart, Saule, the Golden Apple of the Sun.

Broken Silence

Soft, silken skin
Asleep on my breast
So tranquil and precious
The house lies in rest
Except for you and I, love
Alone in my room
I bask in this moment
Gone all too soon

You sit and you crawl
You stand and you run
The world is your playground
You’re having such fun
My curly-haired angel
So careless and free
Yet locked in your mind where
You can’t talk to me

They cry, “Mommy, Mommy”
The kids come to play
Their mothers all answer
And carry them away
In silence I hold you
So close to my heart
And hope you can hear me
Wherever you are

Doctors and teachers
Label you as they please
Discussing you case
In third person with ease
I carry a smile so
My tears won’t begin
As I let go of hopes and
Reality sinks in

Slowly your future
Takes shape in my mind
More questions to ask
No answers to find
‘Til one day the sun through
These dark clouds does peek
You open your mouth
You look at me and speak

They cry, “Mommy, Mommy”
Our kids in the street
We mothers collect you
Lift you off your feet
Don’t know how much more
You’ll be able to say
But “Mommy” alone will suffice for today

Five years of waiting
To hear your sweet voice
It still rings like bells
Makes my heart rejoice
The silence is broken
Now sprout those seeds
Of hope I thought lost
As you start to read

Read to me, Timmy
Your voice is my song
Your voice is a gift
So precious and strong
So many years of
Silence and strife
Are whispered away by
Your voice in my life

Read to me, Timmy
The book of your choice
Just read to me, love
And let me hear your voice

Boann and the Well of Segais

Boann and Bebhionn were as opposite as day and night, one as bright and vibrant as the sun, the other as deep and sensual at the night, both visions to behold. The sisters were always very close—and sometimes prone to mischief in their curiosity, for both were amazed by all manner of wonderful things in the world.

At the age of marriage, the sisters were courted by several men. Bebhionn was happily wed to Aed Alainn. The lovely Boann had caught the eye of the Keeper of the Sacred Well of Segais, Nechtain. Now, the Well of Segais was said to be full of the Waters of Inspiration and Knowledge, and only Nechtain and his three cupbearers were permitted to approach the Well, for one unbidden glance into the Well would, in the very least, strike the violator blind. While taking a walk one afternoon, Nechtain’s carefree path lead the two within distant eyesight of the Well. As beautiful as it was ancient, the Well was surrounded by nine hazel trees, heavily laden with the largest hazelnuts Boann had ever seen! When Nechtain realized where he had taken them, he hastily turned, and they began to walk away, but Boann’s thoughts remained on the Well.

For days, Boann dreamt of the Well and imagined all manner of life and gifts teeming within. She was driven to discuss her preoccupation with Bebhionn, whose eyes widened with wonder as Boann wove her imagery round her sister. Bebhionn, being happily married and uninterested in disfigurement, was easily swayed away from the curiosity that consumed her sister, and she left Boann with a warning to avert her thoughts as well.

One day while picking berries for a pie, Boann found herself once more within eyesight of the Well. She waited. She saw no one. She waited a bit more. Still, she saw none. She waited yet longer, and suddenly her stillness was broken when a splash echoed toward her from within the Well. And then another. She took a few careful steps toward the Well, and before her eyes, she saw a great salmon jump out of the Waters, shimmering in rainbows of sunlight, to eat of the hazelnuts on the trees surrounding the Well. At the sight of the magnificent fish, Boann forgot all about the warnings and dangers of the Well. She only wanted to see, for so inspiring were the Waters within that the mere echo of their splashing enraptured the mind.

Boann approached the Well with an awe and innocence that belied her age. She cautiously placed a hand on the side of the Well and peered in. In a moment’s instance, the Well began to shake and crack, and the Waters began to rise up in a great wave. Boann let out a shocked cry as the Waters whipped round, slashing her arm. Boann began to run. Behind her, the Waters continued to spiral round and round and finally slammed through the sides of the structure, shattering the walls of stone. Freed from their Ancient tomb, the Waters began to chase after Boann, erasing her footprints almost as fast as she made them.

On and on, across the breadth of the Island, the Waters pursued her until she finally leapt into the Sea, where she was caught by a surprised Manannan mac Lir. The Waters were calmly assumed into the Sea where they disappeared into the inky depths with a final, silvery flicker. Manannan, much surprised by the sudden disruption in his day looked toward the path where Boann had come, taking in the breathtaking view of a silvery river, almost laughing in its freedom and sparkling freely in the sunshine.

And so it was that Boann freed the Waters of Knowledge and Inspiration and brought them to the land.

Beauty Hidden in the Sands

Letters, Words,
Written on my heart,
Skin ink stabbed into a fragile countenance.
Each prick awakening the soul
As sensations travel down my spine;
Words echoing through my dreams.

Dust-covered desires are washed new
By waves of emotion
Once wading of a calm pool,
Now roused into a roaring sea.
Desires caught up in a storm of potential,
Of raging, unspoken words
Fighting to find their voice
Amongst the throes of their tumultuous,
Thunderous existence
While the gathering froth whirls round the rocks,
Compelled toward the shore by his breath,
Seeking order to their chaotic dance.

He whispers; he speaks; he shouts,
His voice ebbing and flowing as the tide
Through my consciousness.
The cadence slows, and I hold my breath
In silent anticipation as I am drawn out to sea,
Drowning in longing,
Building, mounting.

The cadence soars and so, too, do I,
Riding the cusp of waves of words as though I have wings
Ablaze with burning questions ignited by the embers
Of once dormant hopes for what may come to pass,
Even if time-touched moments alone,
Stolen and released once more into the steamy void between us.

When the words cease, I remain buoyed,
Softly floating on my sea of unrequited love,
Yearning to be washed upon the shore,
Though fearing that I shall remain buried there
As a misplaced or cast away treasure
Shimmering in the sun and
Waiting to be discovered
By he who will marvel to find
Such hidden beauty in the sands.

Chant for the Shining Ones

To Those who dwell on high
Mighty Gods and Goddesses
Join us at our Sacred Fire
Shining Ones, we honor You

High Ones, hear our words
As we sing praise to You
You who dwell in the loftiest peaks
Shining Ones, we honor You

Shine your blessings down
Grant us wisdom and truth
As we give to you your due
Shining Ones, we honor You.

Come Lie with Me

Come lie with me in the evening
As your day descends toward night
Come lie with me in the evening
Keep close in the waning light
Come lie with me in the evening
In peace and comfort, true
Let all your thoughts now melt away
As I lovingly yield to you

Come lie with me in the night
With candles burning low
Come lie with me in the night
Let your passions begin to flow
Come lie with me in the night
Then fall asleep in my arms
And I will heal your memories of hurt
of past and present harms

Come lie with me in the morning
While the grass is yet draped with dew
Come lie with me in the morning
Rise and be with me anew
Come lie with me in the morning
And prepare for the day to start
Then go forward with joy and contentment
With my love for you in your heart

Let Yourself Shine

I was never known for strength in my youth
It was so easy to hurt my pride
But as I've grown I've taught myself
To take it all in stride
It took some perseverance to learn
To stand on my own feet
After ten years of leaning on everyone else
I’m learning to lean on me
I lost myself, but now I've found
The strength to plant my feet in the ground
I’m looking at a brighter day


Chorus:
You gotta let yourself shine
Through the pouring rain
Let yourself shine
Let go of all the pain
Let go of the loss, let go of the longing
Leave your past behind
And let yourself shine.

I was brought up to be humble
My greatest teacher was shame
I know they did their best with me
So I don’t hold them to blame
I refuse to be a victim of my
Circumstances now
My head is up, my shoulders are back
And I'm ready to face the crowd
You picked me up and you let me fall
But I fought back and I’m standing tall
Ready for a brighter day

(Chorus)

I’m proud of who I am now
I owe it all to you
You pushed me until I broke into
Enough pieces to build anew
I hold no ill will toward you
In fact I wish you well
But I relish in our separate lives
And the freedom outside my cell
I was broken, bruised and torn apart
I’m mending the pieces of my heart
And looking at a brighter day—
And I owe it all to me

(Instrumental break/Chorus)

Hurt Fades Away

It’s peaceful here in my solitude
Solace came with sorrow subdued
My hope for the future has been renewed
As I find fading the loss of you

I wish I’d know the last time
We made love would be the last time
I’d abandon the pantomime
And drink in all of you

I’d memorize you looking down on me
In that moment of pleasure, so serene
Hindsight, unkind, knows that’s not what I’d see
By then, I no longer belonged to you.

I was already gone, in my heart and my head
So few words between us left unsaid
All we had grown together was dead
The hurt will fade, but never the memory of you.

My thoughts turn to other memories
Of discontent and faded glories
Of sad and melancholy stories
Of regret and brokenness I suffered for you

Myriad attempts I made in vain
To make you prove to me through my pain
That your love was real, but the truths remain
I was an extension of your love for you.

Hurt fades away as scars heal with time
Nothing to say as we move on alone
What was is gone, cut down in its prime
Time to move on, move on on our own

Tiny Bird

Tiny bird,
Cold, hungry,
Left alone at dawn
And greeted briefly,
Intermittently,
And only out of necessity.
Only fed when begging.
Only warmed at the Mother’s choosing.
Until the Mother decides
Tiny bird is strong enough and
Pushes it out of the nest
Either to live
By learning to fly
Or not.

Memory of You

These empty hands still feel the flesh
They gripped once in the night
These lips still burn for kisses stolen
In rare moments out of sight

This heart has fallen, fallen hard
And I cannot pick it up
Heavily laden with tears unshed
Crowding the unspent love

I used to swim in memories of you
Now I drown in what could have been
Visions, words whispered, a glance, a touch
Entirely filling my head

Wisdom descends and I see I have grown
But it’s too late to take back mistakes I have sown

So many words, locked deep in my heart
Pen in hand, clearing my mind
I long for you near me, to hear your voice clearly
How can memories be so unkind?

Wallow and weep and I’m doomed to repeat
Hurts perpetuated through me
So I start with myself, deep forgiveness I need
To begin to restore my integrity




I don’t regret the time I spent learning how to love you
Those lessons grew even when we were apart
I don’t regret the moments spent wrapped in your arms
I miss you, but you’ll always be in my heart.

Glistening teardrops reflecting your eyes
As slowly your memory flows forth from mine

How can I thank you for gifts yet unmeasured?
For opening my eyes to what was there all along?
How can I take back being lost in my passion?
For closing your eyes to me as you go on?

Healing comes as mistakes we’ve made
Become the lessons we have learned
Learning grows as vision shows us
The wisdom we have earned
Wisdom builds as we look back
On the trials we’ve been through
And the hurt will fade away in time
But not the memory of you