Friday, May 30, 2008

Patron Deity.

I was a wiccan for six years, and after being unsatisfied with my path for the last time, I began
searching and found ADF--which was like coming home for me. The porblem I had thereafter was that my relationship with Goddess became awkward. It was almost as if the moment I realized there were more than one worthy of my worship and attention, she was waiting for me to call her specifically, by name. Only, I didn't know who she was.

At the suggestion of one of the ADF members I have talked to I began giving offerings to my Deity, and asking for nothing in return but the clarity of vision to know her name. I have lit incense, burned candles, meditated in various places, offered wine and just gave gifts and thoughts to her, that she may reveal herself to me.

At first, because of a dream I had in which the Goddess appeared to me in all white standing in a fire, I assumed it to be Brighid. I did some work with her, and it was good...but she wasn't the one. I looked in Rhiannon, and Athena, whom I have also worked with, but they weren't right, either.

I did a mini-ritual this morning, lit some incense as an offering, opened the gates, and just asked for the Kindred to be with me. I meditated in this fashion, and after a while, I asked of my patron, reveal thyself! I felt very peaceful, but nothing really spectacular happened. I thanked the
Kindred and closed the gates.

As I was getting up, I noticed that my incense cone had gone out. Though my window is open, it is not a breezy day, and I was sure it was burning well before I began. I immediately went to my tarot cards to make sure my offering was accepted. (My first thought was that I did something wrong, haha!)

I drew three cards, as is customary for omen-taking:

Is my offering accepted? Two of Swords (Peace). Yes!

Is there anything else you need from me? Blank card. That would be no.

Information to offer to me in return? The Hermit. I was using my Crowley deck, and if you are not familiar with his deck, the artwork specifically references Persephone, at which point I wept uncontrollably for a moment.

At long last!!!

I have worked with her in the past; she has been inspirational for me. She is the shining example of making lemonade when life gives you lemons. :)

Anyway, she gave me her name today, and I could not ask for a bigger or better gift. My heart is full, and my spirit is at peace.

Hail to Thee, Lady Persephone!

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Family has a way of taking advantage of you.

It has been difficult, these past few months. I am broke, and I am almost at the end of my wits. But strangely, I am still happy.

My sister moved in with us in March. Now, keep in mind, there are five of us in my family…and a dog. Well, there are also five of them…and a parrot (a loud, obnoxious, messy parrot).

I was expecting them to be closer to getting out of my house by now, but I can see that I am going to have to be the creator of their destinies very shortly in order for any change to occur. (I do admit that I cannot be too angry with the lapse in time. My sister had several trips to the EMR where she finally found out that she has a hypoactive thyroid condition, but she is medicated for that now.)

The problem I am having is that I have given them everything they have asked for, and yet any money around my house that I had anywhere is now missing. The money from my room, a twenty from my purse, all the money that wasn’t pennies from my kids’ bank, it’s all gone. I kinda knew this was going to happen. I was just hoping that with me things would be different.

I am glad that we have spent some time together, finally. We have been rather estranged for many years. It has also been excellent for the kids, and it is almost worth it just to see them getting along so well. Almost. I love the fact that everyone is getting to know one another, but I just can't shake the dread I feel when I think about the money. It's not even about the money, really. All in all, it's over $70, but it is so much more than that. I have given them everything they have asked me for. I have not said no to them unless I physically did not have it to give. And still, they found it necessary to steal from me. I opened my home, the home I so carefully built from the bottom up with my loving, and handling this wonderfully, husband. Well, at least I can say I tried. It bit me in the bottom, but I tried my best to help them change.

So, here’s to shame on me. I hope that after this, my karma bill is paid in full…..

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Tarot, Oghams and Runes--Oh, my!

Part of the newness of the shift in my spiritual path has me thinking about divination tools. I have typically been an user of Tarot for all my divination and sage-like purposes. I have been curious, but not serious, about Runes for three or so years as well. After the Druidic Ritual I attended, I have found a new desire to learn about trees. Yup, trees.

Oghams are a divination tool used in early Celtic communities as a system for writing, much like the runes. The Oghams are a series of slashes oriented in a specific way on a vertical line. That's it.

The cool part is that each symbol has a tree associated with it, and each tree has a myriad of meanings depending on the question you are asking. Tree can be sought for answers to medical questions, questions about love, questions about fortune (money), among many others. I saw a set of Oghams, hand-carved, made from the branches of the trees each Ogham symbol represents, and I was immediately fascinated.

I have always fancied myself somewhat of a sage, and I am excited about the prospect of deepening this skill with knowledge and study. Who knows what I will be capable of with more information behind my interpretations?

Wish me luck!