Hidden

You’re with me when I wake each day.
You’re with me when I sleep.
You crowd my thoughts throughout the day—
A secret I must keep.

I think of you as I retire,
Call out your name at night.
I see your face in all my dreams.
Your face is my life’s light.

Pre-chorus:
But darkness comes in somber waves
As I reach for your hand.
Mirage, a figment of my mind.
Alone, alone I stand.

Chorus:
I stand and watch you watching her,
Hoping you’ll see me.
When she’s around I don’t exist.
I am not pretty.

Friendship has its benefits.
In me you do confide.
I listen quite objectively
And put my heart aside.

I tell you all I’d want from you
If I were in her place,
And smile, smile, smile on
To keep truth off my face.

Pre-chorus:
I don’t have to fake the joy
I find in your success.
I want you to be happy, I
Just want it to hurt me less.

Bridge:
I’ll keep it hidden.
I’ll keep it hidden.
I’ll keep it hidden from you. (2X)

Chorus:
I stand and watch you watching her,
Hoping you’ll see me.
When she’s around I don’t exist.
I am not—
Pretty as a picture like
She is in your eyes.
And one more day I stand alone
With a smile as my disguise.

So go to her and be as one.
I’ll stay here where I sit
Content to know there’s still a place
In your life where I do fit.

A Soul's Journey

Restless, conflicted and broken
Naked, before you I stand
Consumed by what was and what never shall pass
Hair cascading down my back

Silent tears I refuse to spill
Your touch inflaming my flesh
A heart once wide open, bound now in chains
Hesitate, then embrace

Pain for the loss, for the wounds on my soul
Reflections of me in your eyes
So cold is the silence that reigns now inside
Your kiss awakening my soul

My soul, my soul flies in raven-cloaked glory
Alight on the wings of my dreams
Carried away by your sweet song of hope
For nothing exists as it seems

Who are you that hides when you stare in my face
I yield myself to your desire
Telling me I’m just a piece of myself
Illuminating, inspired

Memories stirred plague my dreams through the night
Wandering hands fan the flames
Deafening silences bounce round my room
Everything, everything
Everything, everything
Everything, all falls away

My soul, my soul flies in raven-cloaked glory
Alight on the wings of my dreams
Carried away by your sweet song of hope
For nothing exists as it seems

Alone one more night, alive one more day
As one, all the world fades away
I turn up my face to the sun and the sky
And fly away, fly far away

My soul, my soul flies in raven-cloaked glory
Alight on the wings of my dreams
Carried away by your sweet song of hope
For nothing exists as it seems

My soul, my soul flies in raven-cloaked glory
Whispers of hatred now fade
Carried away by your sweet song of hope
Into the future I’ve made
And into the future I fade

Apart

I treasure all those moments
Wrapped within your arms
Content and spent and heaven sent
Safe from fear and harm
I linger in those memories
Let them fill my mind
To try and keep my tears away
When your hand can’t reach mine

Chorus:
I drive too fast on my way to you
On my way to your embrace
I race toward your loving arms
To see the smile upon your face
But when I leave you, I drive slowly
With an ache inside my heart
For every mile I’m closer to home
Is one more we’re apart

Alone inside my room at night
The coldness in my bed
The emptiness that creeps inside
My weary, lonely head
Are constant when you’re far away
So very hard to take
For loneliness and sorrow do
Poor companions make

Chorus

Bridge:
I cry myself to sleep at night
While memories put up a fight
To keep me up when I’m alone
Without you here, it’s not a home

And then we stand as one once more
As trees whose roots entwine
Rooted deeply, we stand strong
In love that’s touched divine
Our branches reach up through the sky
Beyond the loftiest height
Where Gods and Angels make their homes
It’s there our love takes flight

Chorus

Silent Anticipation

Here I stand,
Waiting so patiently.
My mind wandering,
Seeking, hoping, dreaming.
Remembering what has come before,
Looking on toward what is yet to come.

And then it happens:
A quickening of my pulse,
A sensual catch in my breath.
All so seemingly slight,
Yet deep and satisfying.

A soft smile creeps onto my face
As I slowly recognize this sensation,
This set of responses
Lost and suppressed for so long.

I rejoice in the return of the butterflies
And all they stand for
As I continue to wait
In silent anticipation
For you.

Daybreak

Lazy morning sunlight creeps through the windows
Softening the shadows on your face
Playing in the hair round your brow
Stirring you from your dreams

Slowly your eyes open and find me there
In the quiet of the dawn
With Eostre’s kiss upon us
And your lips seeking to find mine

Cradled in the warmth of sleep
Silently feeling one another in lucid bliss
Awakening the senses
Awakened and alive

The early morning is our time
Before the world begins her day
Before the household joins the fray
Before time locks us away from one another again

Behold, your face so close to mine
Behold, your hands upon my hips
Behold, your love wrapping us in its embrace
Behold, all these things echoed back to you in full

Behold, you
Behold, me
Behold, us
Together

A Baltic Tale of Night and Day

Golden-haired Saule sat alone, spinning her amber wheel, weaving the very thread of life when the Moon first laid eyes upon her. Fiery Saule, richly dressed in golden silk raiment and crowned with shining jewels, was a vision of sparkling loveliness that Menulis could not resist. Menulis, silver-dressed Guardian of Night and Time, won the heart of his Balta Saulite, his Darling Little Sun, after much courting, and they were wed in the Primeval Spring. First born to the Sun and Moon was Žeme, the Earth, followed by Vakarine, the evening star, and most beautiful Aušrine, the morning star.

The family fell quickly into routine. Aušrine burned the morning fire and made Saule ready for her journey across the sky, for every morning Saule drove her Chariot of Fire into the sky, leading her white mares on to the Baltic Sea where she was met by her companion, Perkunele, who bathed the weary Sun Maiden at the end of her journey. Saule’s chariot was transformed into a gilded boat when it reached the sea, and guided by Perkunele, she sailed home to where Vakarine had prepared her bed that she may rise, rested and prepared for the next day’s journey.

Each day’s journey was shared with the bearded Sky God, Perkunas the Thunder, who rode alongside Saule in his own chariot, carrying his lightning-bolt sword and stone axe. Needless to say, Perkunas and Saule were close as brother and sister, and it was with great sadness in his heart that Perkunas noted the roving of Menulis. Saule, who rose very early, retired for the evening shortly after Menulis ascended to rule the night, and he was easily and often led astray by the shimmer of a nearby star while Saule slept. Perkunas was keenly aware when Menulis became overly interested in Aušrine, the Morning Star, even more beautiful than her mother with her mother’s golden hair, adorned with a sun crown and a starry mantle closed with a moon-shaped brooch. One fatal morning, as he was returning from a night alone in the sky, Menulis gave in to his obsessive desires and took Aušrine as she prepared the fires for her mother, tearing her starry mantle and flippantly tossing aside her crown. Perkunas became so enraged at the sight that he slashed at Menulis with his lightning sword, leaving the scars on his face that may be seen in the night sky even still.

Saule was so angry with Menulis for his infidelity that she declared an end to their marriage, banishing him to dwell in the night sky alone. With her head held high and her daughters by her side, Saule continued her work on her own, the Matriarch of the Sky who watches all the Children of the Earth herself and still finds time to dance upon the hills in silver shoes with joy in her heart, Saule, the Golden Apple of the Sun.

Broken Silence

Soft, silken skin
Asleep on my breast
So tranquil and precious
The house lies in rest
Except for you and I, love
Alone in my room
I bask in this moment
Gone all too soon

You sit and you crawl
You stand and you run
The world is your playground
You’re having such fun
My curly-haired angel
So careless and free
Yet locked in your mind where
You can’t talk to me

They cry, “Mommy, Mommy”
The kids come to play
Their mothers all answer
And carry them away
In silence I hold you
So close to my heart
And hope you can hear me
Wherever you are

Doctors and teachers
Label you as they please
Discussing you case
In third person with ease
I carry a smile so
My tears won’t begin
As I let go of hopes and
Reality sinks in

Slowly your future
Takes shape in my mind
More questions to ask
No answers to find
‘Til one day the sun through
These dark clouds does peek
You open your mouth
You look at me and speak

They cry, “Mommy, Mommy”
Our kids in the street
We mothers collect you
Lift you off your feet
Don’t know how much more
You’ll be able to say
But “Mommy” alone will suffice for today

Five years of waiting
To hear your sweet voice
It still rings like bells
Makes my heart rejoice
The silence is broken
Now sprout those seeds
Of hope I thought lost
As you start to read

Read to me, Timmy
Your voice is my song
Your voice is a gift
So precious and strong
So many years of
Silence and strife
Are whispered away by
Your voice in my life

Read to me, Timmy
The book of your choice
Just read to me, love
And let me hear your voice