Thursday, November 2, 2023

Holding Vigil - A Prayer

A dear friend of mine had a pretty big surgery, and while I was waiting and making offerings for their health and well-being, the following prayer came to me. I am pleased that everything went well and they are on the road to healing. 

Holding Vigil


Waiting, I kindle the Fire on my shrine, and touch incense to flame.
Watching the smoke from the offerings dance in the firelight,
I am reminded of all the times we danced and played,
The times we laughed and prayed,
The times we cried and mourned,
The times we celebrated and explored,
And I wait.
I wait for news from afar and send back the love we have shared these long years.
I have all the time in the world to give to wait and to pray for you.

[Image of a candle in a lantern with the above prayer on a black background]








Friday, October 27, 2023

Prayer to Saga for Inspiration

Prayer to Saga for Inspiration

By the stream of memory she dwells   
Saga of the Sinking Beach     
She of the Land of Flowing Waterfalls 
Seeress of Frigga’s Court  
She who drinks from the Golden Chalice  
Holding audience with Alfather  
Lady of Memory and History, we call to you     
Saga, we give you this gift and beseech you 
Allow us a draught from the Cup of Inspiration
Grant us a sip of your elixir that our words may be inspired
Guided by truth and wisdom
Pleasing to all who hear them

[Image of above text on black background with a triangle of drinking horns]



Sunday, October 15, 2023

Prayer to Heimdalr

Heimdallr, Holy One; Hallinskihdi, Whitest As,
Keen-eared and sharp-eyed, biding on Bïfrost,
Gjallerhorn's holder, to you give praise
Son of Nine Mothers, by Fire and by Water,
Sire of Jarl's sons, Shining guardian,
Rune-shower Rigr, Hight Jötun bane
Great golden-toothed Turner of Hearths,
Unsleeping reed-giver who hears the wool grow
Well-known wise watcher, Warder of Asgard,
Heimdalr, we hail you!

[Image of a rainbow in the sky with the above prayer overlaid]

Wednesday, September 27, 2023

Prayer for Compassion Fatigue

Prayer for Compassion Fatigue

 
Sadness, horror, rage, grief
Conflicting and complex, they blend together into building waves of increasing intensity
Washes over my senses, flooding my mind, drowning my thoughts
So far away, helplessness envelops me
So near to my heart, prayer seems like the least effective offering
And yet I pray
I have no words of comfort that will make a difference
I have no resources that will be more than a drop in the ocean of need
I have no actions that matter from where I sit in my comfortable home
And yet I pray
I pray for peace and an end to violence
I pray for understanding, cool heads, and warm hearts
I pray for healing and compassion
I pray and I pray and I pray
And numbness descends…
It feels like a curse preventing me from action
Does it not mean I do not care if I do not feel?
In the stillness that follows, I recognize the gift:
A respite from the sadness and horror and rage and grief
That I may rise again once more to find words, to share resources,
And to do what I can to bring about the changes we need in our world

[Image of water at night with text of above prayer]



Thursday, August 24, 2023

Summerland Recap 2023: At the Sacred Center

I had the privilege to attend the Summerland Festival in Yellow Springs, Ohio again this year, and it did not disappoint! After the "gastrointestinal devastation" of last year, we were ready for another chance to invest in community and reconnect with long-distance friends. 

Thursday night's festivities were momentarily interrupted by rain, but the fire in the pavilion and the good friends were enough to keep us warm. Opening ritual went well, and it felt wonderful to be in in-person ritual space with so many like-minded folks. We shared a meal and attended an adult-only workshop retelling the Egyptian creation myth, Set & Heru, which we thoroughly enjoyed. 

Friday began with Rev. William's presentation on the Virtue Buffet. Once again, his teachings hold value and practical tools for living a good life. I've seen this one three times now, and I learn something new every time. I also attended a workshop/sacred space time for embroidery as a form of meditation. As a non-sewer, I delighted in Rev. Jan Avende offering me some markers and coloring pages. Next, Rev. Michael J Dangler led a respectful discussion on performing magic and other workings with what is available and how to obtain reputable tools and ingredients of the trade.

Friday evening was Bardic Night! So much fun! Getting to sing with my people and listen to all the wonderful new works they've created since last we were together brings such joy to my heart. We have to many talented folks in our community! We finished the evening with drumming around the fire and late-night conversation.

After a very cold night's sleep, I presented my workshop on the Axial Awakening. This was the first attempt to present the information in one hour, and I definitely ran long. Overall, the content was well-received, and I am going to work on putting together a formal class. This one seems to have credit hours, lol.  Next came a presentation on Appalachian Folk Traditions and how those magical practices travel through the generations, which ones are common, and how blended traditions add and enhance them over time. Definitely an intro to a much bigger subject--just like mine! After lunch, a group of us got together in one of the unoccupied cabins to record some ritual music. Oh, my heart, what a treat! I am really looking forward to listening. Some of the pieces haven't been formally recorded before now.

The Main Ritual was lovely. Rev. Jan Avende led us in a service full of elements from the practices of each of the various traditions and variations represented by the folk present. We honored all that the Summerland festival, that that place, offers us, and lifted our voices to manifest those beautiful gifts with offerings and love. 

Saturday evening, we had the pleasure to dance to the musical trappings of Discarded Mischief. They were down their bass player and still put on a terrific show. They even covered one of my songs, and I got to sing with them (because I am that level of extra). It was honestly a beautiful gift, and I am grateful for their efforts in learning one of my songs. It wasn't done how I would have performed it, which made it even more special to hear. Songs are living, breathing things, and once we let them go, we have to let them evolve and grow into something more. I feel like this was one of those moments for the song, Awen Rains Down. We ended the night with smores around the fire and more conversation. 

It was sad to leave on Sunday, but the memories are rich with fellowship and community, and they will sustain us all until we meet again. 

Sunday, July 16, 2023

Of Course It Is: Loki's New Statue

I have been performing the workings in the Pagan Portals book, Loki: Trickster and Transformer. After deepening my connection with Sigyn, I wanted to intentionally build relationship with Loki, and it seemed the best way forward was through the guidance of those who have already done this work. Dagulf Loptson's work is proving to be meaningful, and I was even inspired to purchase a Loki statue. I did some internet searching and found a piece in the style of my Odin statue, which seems apropos. After getting delayed and arriving a little beat up, I opened the package to reveal a piece a little different than what I was expecting. Is it resin instead of wood? Yes, must've missed that in the description. Is is painted just-tacky-enough gold? Of course it is. How very Loki.

With the statue placed next to Odin, the bowl and the candle, the stone to carry their energy with me, and the devotional beads I strung together for prayer mantras, I seem to have created a full-blown devotee space for them. I do not feel compelled to actually devote myself to him, but I am finding peace and strength in adding this type of quick-witted energy to my life as well as the humble admission of fault and subsequent reparations. 

As my husband, Rev. William Ashton, says, ruptures happen. We all make mistakes. It is what you do to repair that is the mark of your character. May I also be the type of person who admits when I am wrong and does the work to make right what I can as I learn to do better in the future. 

Saturday, June 17, 2023

Holding the Bowl

Many years ago, I had a close friend who worked with Sigyn, wife of Loki and goddess of loyalty, compassion, and steadfastness. This level of exposure softened me to her story, since she is mentioned sparingly in the Eddas and Sagas, usually only known to those who are familiar with the tale of Loki's comeuppance after flyting the gods.  

In the Lokasenna, Loki proceeds to sling barbed commentary at the Asgardians in turn for various character flaws they each posses, which wreaks of Christian influence and a way to impart Christian ethics on a pagan culture. Nevertheless, at the end of the tale, the gods have turned one of his sons with Sigyn, Vali, into a wolf who kills his brother, Narvi. The gods use Narvi's entrails to bind Loki to a rock in Helheim beneath a serpent dripping venom on him. It is here he will remain until Ragnarok, suffering the punishment for his scathing commentary. Sigyn, his beloved, holds a bowl over his face to prevent the venom from touching him. The only drops that fall upon his flesh are those that fall in the moments it takes for her to empty the bowl and begin her labor of love anew in an endless cycle. 

Sigyn has been showing up for me for months, first in my studies, then in my internet searches for devotional works published by devotees of the gods. I have purchased a couple of books, but it wasn't until I "randomly" downloaded an audio copy of Lea Svendsen's work, Loki and Sigyn, that I fell headlong into a new relationship with Sigyn and Loki (a relationship with Sigyn comes with a side order of Loki whether you want one or not!). About halfway through the book, I tried to describe what I was learning to my husband, and I found myself in tears, in awe and inspired by the character and presence of Sigyn. After that, I knew I needed to connect more deeply with her. In their work, Svendsen describes a ritual for connecting with Sigyn in which the celebrant enters ritual space and holds Sigyn's bowl for a spell to allow her a reprieve from her labor of love. Today, I performed this ritual, and it is nothing short of powerful. 

I began with a short working described by Dagulf Loptson in his work, Loki: Trickster and Transformer, where the celebrant carves a bindrune into a candle. After making offerings, I lit the candle and sat in meditation while chanting, "I light the flame of Loki, both without me and within me." From there, I segued into Svendsen's ritual in which the celebrant calls to Sigyn and asks her to relinquish her bowl that we may hold it while she rests. I lit a charcoal and made offerings of mistletoe, wormwood, mugwort, and amber resin. While these burned before me, I poured a draught of wine into the bowl and held it aloft. I imagined the drops of poison collecting there, weighing the bowl down with time as it became heavier and heavier. After a while, Sigyn returned to smooth Loki's hair and offer comfort to her beloved. Before long, she took up her place holding the bowl to capture the drops that threaten her heart and held her vigil beside him in strength and love.

Holding a bowl of liquid, no matter how small, is difficult over time. The muscles in my shoulders and arms began to ache with the effort, and I became aware of how strong Sigyn must be to hold the bowl with such care and attentiveness, day in and day out, to protect her partner from the pain and agony of the venom. She is unwavering, never complaining, full of compassion, and full of love for her beloved. I am humbled by her efforts. 

I pulled a rune after this work and received Jera, harvest and cycles, which said to me "keep doing the work." So I have dedicated myself to holding the bowl. We shall see what becomes of this practice in love, compassion, and loyalty with a bonus lesson in not giving one ounce of care to what others think about it--a fine omen to begin building a deeper relationship with deities that are often viewed as controversial. 

I fear I have planned these next few writings out of order, but I am grateful to you for joining me in this journey. There is so much spinning in my mind I haven't coalesced into words! I offer these tidbits to help provide a bit of context for why in all the realms I have seemingly dove head-first into a pool of chaos: She is a goddess of all I described above and more, and her role as the Sacrificer begs to be explored in more depth and breadth (bet that got your attention!). According to Loptson and Svendsen, there is evidence that Loki may have once been a fire deity, a shadow of what we may envision when we consider Agni in the Vedic pantheon, and Sigyn is reverently holding the offerings aloft in her bowl to be poured into the fire. It is the Christianization of the northern myths and the idea that there MUST be an evil figure in their dualistic worldview that has led to Loki being the cognate of their Satan and all that comes with it. I am definitely intrigued by this idea and will be researching. 

For now, I leave you with a short prayer:

Lady Sigyn, she of the staying power, lady of loyalty and compassion,
We call to you this day.
Teach us the way of love, so deep it moves us to action.
Teach us the way of loyalty, so strong it bolsters our resolve.
Teach us the way of compassion,
So powerful that our labors do not become tainted with bitterness.
Lady Sigyn, Incantation-fetter, North Star and Loki's Joy, we honor you.