My Vocational Statement

When did you hear the call to the path of ADF Priesthood? What did it sound like?

Looking back, I think I can pinpoint the Ordination rite at Summerland of Revs. Carrion and Raven Mann when the folk were introduced to the Ancient Wise. I felt the rush of power as they entered the space, and ever since then, I have felt compelled to follow them. The call to serve wasn’t so much heard as felt, in all the things I did at my shrine, in my meditations and trance journeys, in the desire to write, in everything. I have long been a leader, whether deserving or no, and as such, I have always believed it is my duty to earn such respect and honor it when it is given through study and right action whenever possible. I am not perfect, but working with the Ancient Wise has taught me to be confident and to learn from my shortcomings. The call of the Ancient Wise sings through my blood, and I can think of no better way to honor that call than to serve in the Priesthood of Ár nDraíocht Féin.

What form do you expect your vocation to take?

I am not entirely sure what shape my vocation will take, and honestly, I think this is a good thing. The road ahead of me is brush-covered and full of mist and wonder, and I am excited to walk this path. I know that the skillset I bring to the Clergy Council is not entirely unique, but I do feel that I have gifts to offer and aid us in better serving the folk, particularly in terms of counsel and bardic arts. From here, I plan to listen and watch those who have gone before me, and when I see clearly where my input will sing the harmony to their work, I will join in…eventually being able to add melody lines and complete the song of Our Druidry. I am interested in the traveling clergy program, bringing Our Druidry to those who do not have access to the services provided by a grove or other Clergy folk.

Do you feel prepared to become an ADF Priest now? Do you see further work that you will need to do to prepare yourself for the work ahead?

I feel prepared to begin the work of the Clergy in ADF, absolutely. Is there further work for me to do? Always. The path of Clergy is not one that ever gets “completed.” I do believe there is much ahead of me that I have yet to engage, and I am excited about where the path will lead. Ordination will draw me into the inner workings of our Clergy Order where I am sure my path will change and evolve. I am confident that I can handle the work, especially knowing the peers I will be joining along the way. With the support of these Priests, the Folk, and the Kindreds, I am confident the path leads to a successful journey.

Prayer to the Need-Fire

Naudhiz, Need-fire,
Spark of momentum,
Flame of Motivation
Kindled from need.
Provide us with the energy,
Provide us with the drive, and
Provide us with the inspiration we need
When need surrounds us.
Make us strong in compassion,
Make us burn with conviction, and
Make us wise in decision
As we strive to right the wrongs
And make the necessary changes
Brought to light by your Fire.
Naudhiz, burn within us!

Dusk

In silence I sit
watching the lengthening shadows
as the stillness of darkness
descends to cloak the day
keeping the chill left in the sun's sudden absence
from seeping through skin to bone

Exhalations stream in steamy mists
that sparkle and shimmer in the moonlight
like stars visiting from the far away sky
And night falls

Sweet night, wrapping the memory the day has become
in heavenly paper tied with bows of possibilities
only visible in this liminal space
between what just was and what is about to be

Gentle night, softening the edges of day into curves
as the light gives way to shadows
that unfold from a day spent hiding
into the midnight symphony
rocking and singing our souls to sleep

As dawn approaches, the possibilities unravel once more
kissed by the last rays of the starry, moonlit sky
and blessed by the first rays of the sun
worthy now to come fully into being

Into a new beginning.

Can't Sleep

It’s late, and I’m awake
Can’t sleep; no lack of trying
I stare into the darkness
Deep and moving with my heartbeat
Thinking of my lots and strife
Thinking of my bills and life
Choices

I light the candles on my shrine
To break the darkness
And call to the Kindreds
To break the silence
And I know the Kindreds hear me
‘Cause there is food in my belly
And gas enough in my car
Though it won’t get me far
And the kids have hot water
‘cause the gas is on again
And the electric’s still running
Though I owe them money
But for now, the lights will go on
Shining at night
Like a beacon of hope
Like the sun
Like the moon
Like the stars
Like your name
Like you.

I can’t sleep in here
It’s empty
It’s empty
I’m lonely
And my thoughts are of money
Because money can’t hurt me
Though without it
My home is less homey than
Hospitality demands

I call out to the Kindreds
And I know that they hear me
It’s warm at my shrine
Where the candles are burning
And Freyja can’t hold me
But she can teach me that lonely
Is only temporary
Until the kids are beside me
At dawn

Choose to write.

I present to you a quote:

"A virtue must be deliberately and rationally chosen. But the emotional and passionate dimension of each person's being has a place in the process as well. A virtue is a habit of one's whole self, not just one's intellect."-Brendan Myers, The Other Side of Virtue

A virtue, then, is not simply an absent-minded character trait, an inborn part of the personality. A virtue is a chosen idea about the proper way in which one should behave, and this can become second-nature over time by choosing to continue to exhibit this behavior whenever relevant. A virtue is chosen. There are many reasons why we choose the virtues we as individuals hold most dear, but the ones that stick are the ones that we believe with our whole being to be the right manner in which to behave.

I won't say that writing is a virtue, but this vein of thinking has me thinking. Writing is something that we choose to do, but unless we choose to do it with our whole selves, allowing our emotional and passionate dimensions to have a place in our work, it will never be what we hope it will be. If we want writing that is alive, we must first breathe into it all the emotions and passions, desires, hopes, fears, and dreams that live inside of us. Writing should be an extension of the self.

We all have our own dictates regarding right and wrong, correct and incorrect, and many of those dictates are variations of the same themes: courage, prudence, honor. These are noble notions for us to uphold, and if we apply the same rules of engagement to our writing that we do to our lives, there is no limit to the ways in which we can connect and touch other people through our writing.

When you have done something well, when you dream your dreams, when you feel your fears take hold of you, and when you find the honor and glory of triumph for facing down the odds, choose to write. It is these moments, full of your emotions and passions, that truly make your work a work of art.

The Practical Bard

"Practical Bardry" is a idiom of which I took ownership early in my tenure in Ár nDraíocht Féin, A Druid Fellowship. There is a lot of “bardry” around. From songs about booze and sex, money and love, loss and anger, to poems from now and times long past about heroic deeds and fantastical tales, even to stories of laughter, frivolity, love, perseverance and any of the other emotions and character traits we value as humans, there is a plethora of available work out there. I propose the thing that will set a Bard apart from the minstrels and performers is simply practicality.

There are many synonyms for “practical,” including such words as “real” and “applied” and “concrete.” My favorite synonym is simply, “useful.” I wish someone had told me this far earlier in my bardic training! Being a performer or a writer is not about glamour or fame, not when your main venue is a religious organization and especially not when your audience includes a world full of Gods and the ears of all those who have gone before you. No, the Practical Bard is the one that is useful. The Practical Bard has a role to play, and fulfilling that role begins with an understanding of the role of the Bard.

The Neopagan Bard in the context of Ritual

Isaac Bonewits said, in “The Basic Principles of Liturgical Design” from Druid’s Progress #4, “I've learned over the last twenty years, mostly from the priestesses and bards with whom I've worked, that the artistic elements of a ritual, and most especially the musical and dramatic ones, can be the critical determiners of just how much psychic, magical and/or spiritual energy gets raised by the participants, and of how well that energy is maintained, focused and discharged.”

The role of a Bard is two-fold. A good bard is a key player in alleviating the performer v. audience problem that sometimes exists, especially in larger rites. As Isaac points out above, songs and chants require/provide a chance for the folk to participate, which in turn will aid in drawing them in—physically and emotionally—to promote group mind and overall serve to enrich the ritual experience. It is the bard’s responsibility to ensure these pieces are well-executed. Pieces in which the folk are expected to participate should be preceded by clear instructions and include clear direction during their course. For individuals new to an ADF rite, the music and prose may be a deciding factor when considering a repeat attendance. Furthermore, the poems, stories and songs are the parting gifts the bards give to the folk. By design, they are more readily recalled for later reflection—particularly chants that are short and repetitive.

A good Bard is also one who works closely with the liturgical leaders for a rite and shares the responsibilities creating and maintaining order. The Bard should follow the rite closely, making sure as the rite progresses that the liturgical leader(s) are supported and that the energy is maintained in the event of a distraction or a “hang up” (such as a participant who is missing momentarily or a ritual item needing to be retrieved). In these instances, a well-placed bardic piece, whether instrumental music, drum beat, spontaneous poetry or ritual-appropriate short story can maintain the order and group mind created at the advent of the rite while the liturgy leader(s) recover. A bard, I truly believe, is an integral part of the liturgy team.

Bards in the greater Neopagan Community

In a general setting, Bardic work that enters the greater Neopagan community carries the voice of their sect into the open. In other words, the Bards are the representatives of their respective group. These works also create a bond between groups and can provide common ground for larger, general gatherings such as festivals and conferences. For example, the songs written by a Goddess-centered woman, such as Starhawk and Annie Hill have become mainstreamed in the neopagan community at large. When these songs are incorporated into the liturgies at festivals and public rites, the collective spirit of the folk is enhanced and a sense of camaraderie develops. Also, when these types of pieces are used, more of the folk are likely to participate: people are more comfortable doing what they know.

Bardic work is important to keeping the mind open to new ideas and allowing for the expression—and understanding of differences between the neopagan divisions. Wiccans and Druids, Shamans and Earth Warriors, through the expression of poems and chants, songs and stories are drawn together as a community. Conversation and liturgies may be different, but when an individual internalizes and understands a piece of bardic work, we become one in mind and purpose.

The Role of the Bard in Ár nDraíocht Féin: A Druid Fellowship, Inc.

Primarily, the Bard is charged with infusing the liturgy with memorable pieces that tie the folk into the greater purpose of our rites. Stories used to introduce the Deity of the Occasion will help the folk to gain a better understanding of his or her nature and even begin to build a relationship, if there is a commonality between the Deity and the individual. Since we are a public forum type of religion, repetitive chants that are easily picked up are essential. Songs or chants interspersed within the liturgy that are short and lively can brighten a rite and keep the folk engaged enough to create higher amounts of energy and focus, and a liturgical design that acts as a showcase for the products of the fertile or “Bardically inclined” grove members will yield the highest quality results for this very reason. Besides, our bardic work is fun for creators and spectators alike.

Furthermore, our cosmology is not always very easy to understand the first time a person is exposed to it. The Bardic works in a rite are a key element to helping people understand what is going on around them. As stated above, our Bards are carrying the voice of ADF to the greater Neopagan community. May their voices carry truth about who we are, and may they do honor to the Kindred.

Live Audiences and my friend, Helen.

It seems I have to relearn this simple lesson every time I end up in a rut: Performing for a live audience is the easiest way to break through a writer's block. I had the joy of playing music for some family this weekend, and the smiles, applause and encouraging words have soothed much of the anxiety that has been building inside.

For many years, I wrote. I wrote about what I was feeling. I wrote about my sorrows and joys, my secret desires and my fears. I wrote poems and songs, and I wrote stories and essays. I wrote a lot. But, I was so worried that when I bared my soul-papers to others I would just be giving them the tools they needed to destroy any shred of self-esteem I had left.

I finally met someone, a very talented musician, who earned my trust by sharing with me first. She never pushed me outside of my comfort zone. Instead, she slowly allowed my comfort zone to grow and grow and evolve and shift and change until it enveloped her like a soft blanket. Lo and behold! She was on the inside where it was safe. It was with her that I fist began sharing my work, and it was there that I finally broke out of my chrysalis and learned to fly. Today, I am grateful for my friend, Helen.

Whenever my confidence wanes, or my desire to write or to play fades, or I just can't seem to find a topic or tune, I need to remember that misery loves company, and what is company but a captive audience waiting to see where my work will take them? It may be to a place we've been before, but sometimes we need to pass through places we've been to get to the unexplored territory on the other side....