A New Addition!

I am pleased to announce that my family and I got a new puppy this morning! He is a full-bred Golden Retriever. The kids have christened him "Buddy." He is absolutely adorable!

I have never considered myself a dog person. I like dogs, but I have never been prone to be affectionate with dogs that I don't know. I have a dog. She has been mine since she was weened from her mom. Actually, runt that she was, she was pushed out by her siblings when she was 4 weeks old. We took our larthargic little puppy home, and I fed her dog food soaked in milk from a spoon for weeks! She has been my dog for almost 13 years, and I love her.My husband has decided that we should get another dog before Roxy gets too much older (or dies, heavens forbid!) so the puppy will have a role model and Roxy can have a "youthful inspiration" around her. Really, I think he just wanted a puppy, but he didn't have to tell me twice!

So, we toted the kids down to the animal shelter and didn't find any dogs of a fitting disposition. We ended up at (gasp!) a pet store near my house where we get all our supplies for our existing animals (Roxy, parrot, fish). We were originally looking for a Labrador, but settled on possibly a German Shepard until we saw our little fur baby. He was sleeping in his cage, all curled up in a ball in the corner. I knew he was mine when I saw him.

He has been gentle and fun and happy all day so far. He likes his crate, as they said he would, so we don't have to worry about him getting into trouble at night or if we have to (rarely) leave him alone. Interestingly, I would like to add what I have learned about Godlen Retrievers. They are loyal and gentle-spirited dogs. They are often companions for disabled or mentally insufficient individuals. Having an Autistic child, I could not be more happy with our choice of pet. Timmy has been giving him a wide berth so far, and he won't stay out of the cage (I know, right?), but other than that, I hope they can learn to play together. It will be excellent interaction therapy for my little boy.Thank the gods for the companionship of animals. They really do make life on this plain richer, fuller and more rewarding.

Success again!

I did another full ritual today, and it went just as well as the first. My new meditation is doing wonders for centering and entering into the proper mind frame before I begin.

Omens for today were just as good. Offerings accepted? I drew Ingwaz. Yes!
Gifts in return? Gebo--gifts, sacrifice.
Further needs the gods have of me? Raidho--journey.

I am not exactly sure what they are requiring of me, but I do know that they are there and taking part in my spiritual journey. It seems they are going to meet me where I am and help me move ahead from there. I guess they were just waiting for me to prove to them--and to myself--that I am serious about this...

Here's to an even brighter tomorrow!

Team Estrogen Gig

I played my first gig with Team Estrogen in eight months over the weekend, and it went very well! We played at a private nursery/art show at the Scioto Gardens in Dublin. I forgot how much fun it is to play live. We did an entire two-hour set (no set break), and we were very tired by the end. But it was well worth it! The music tent was located in between the Natural Beeswax candles and the food tent. It smelled really good in there! The tables were set up in front of our tent, so the lunchers had a nice view of our show. Plus, it was high traffic, so our audience was never empty. It was exhilarating to see smiling faces every time I looked out into the audience.

I got some very good compliments, as well. Many people walking by thanked us in between songs for "the nice addition to an already great atmosphere." I heard one woman tell my counterpart, "I've never heard anyone cover the Indigo Girls as well as you two." And a woman stopped me later and told me how impressed she was with a cover I did of an Evanescence song: "I can't believe you covered 'My Immortal!' I heard those first couple of chords and realized what you were playing and thought, Good luck! But you nailed it!"Ahhh...it feels good to have your ego boosted!

Ritual Success!

Today was a good day...

I have decided to do my devotionals every other day and begin doing Rune meditations on the off days. Yesterday was my first Rune meditation. I drew Tyr. I read through the lines in the Rune poem and then read the interpretation of Tyr in the book that came with the Runes. Then, I just pondered. I also started a separate meditation journal for my Rune meds.

Today, I did a full ritual without my cheat sheet. It went superbly! I remembered all the parts. I started with the Earth Mother. I gave her an offering today. I then performed an improvised two powers. I have modified the wording to my own design, but it is the same basic imagery. I start with the Earth Mother and draw from her, and then reach toward the Sky Father, allowing the energies to mix within my core. I had to find a way to stop saying loin (heehee--see what I mean).

From there, I offered to Garanus (I know, I am such a Crane!) and asked him to assist me in opening the gates. At this time, I also acknowledged the unknown Goddess who has shown herself to me in the mists. She has appeared to me several times, and I am unsure who she is, but I am beginning my search much the same way I did with Persephone.After the gates were opened, I lit my candles for the Kindred one at a time, and made their offerings as I lit the respective candles. I them offered to each of my patrons in turn. I spoke my prayers of thanks and whatever else was in my heart. I made my final offering.I took omens using the Runes. It was very positive. My first rune was Raidho--journey. Definite yes on the offerings! I then pulled Algiz and Eihwaz, protection and strength. I feel loved today. :)

I thanked everyone in turn. I closed the gates and ended the rite. I then tossed my offering out the window (steel cut oats into my backyard).It felt good to have such a positive experience today. I know the gods have been pushing me a little hard, and now that I have stopped pushing back, I am hoping to finally make some progress. Now, if I can just finish A History of pagan Europe...

Bad Writing.

I am currently drudging through A History of Pagan Europe by Pennick and Jones. The information is invaluable, but the further I read, the more irritated I am becoming over the lack of structure and organization in this book.

I am currently reading the chapter on the Germanic peoples. While reading a passage entitled "Early Germanic Religion," I had to take a break. I got to the line on pg 116 that said, "These were the western Germans" and I was through! It then begins to discuss the eatern Germans, but not about the same items described for the Western tribes. I am assuming that the line stated above means that all the paragraphs back to the last subheading are referring to the Westerners, but it never says when the western-specific discussion begins. Plus, every once in a while, they had another fact about the Celtic peoples in that was never discussed in the chapters to thier effect.

This book has a lot of very good information. The discussions of Hellenic and Roman practices are seemingly well done (judging from the basic information I had prior to reading this book), but beginning with the sections on the Celts and getting worse with the Germans, it is an organizational nightmare! It jumps around in time and in locality, and the subheadings are not indicative of what the following paragraphs are going to be about. Also, there are no maps of any areas outside the one that shows the maximun expanse of the Roman empire found at the beginning of the book. I am finding myself supplementing more and more of this book with additional materials just to make it make sense...and I haven't even begun to read about the slavic or vedic religions!

I typically do not have any difficulty understanding and learning from the books that I read, but I am going to have to read a few celtic/germanic specific titles after I finish this book (and probably slavic, and vedic, and roman, haha). I am getting a general overview of ancient times, but the details are very scattered and difficult to retain in thier present state.

ComFest Solstice Rite

This morning was the second Midsummer ritual for the Cranes, and it went rather well! We met at their booth at our local Community Festival (ComFest). It began to pour as we were doing our pre-ritual briefing. We sent our lone-Druid SB over to the proposed location of the rite (since he had an umbrella) to see if we should opt to hold the ritual in the tent.

Amazingly, as we were deciding the best course of action would be to uphold our ghosti relationship with the ComFest official schedulers and brave the rain, it stopped. The Sun was shining during the rite! We all carried the altar materials over to the site. Mg did the Outdwellers (They got the prettiest donut and a large cup of coffee). We had a few new faces, apparently, but being new myself, it is hard to tell sometimes.

The centering went much better for me than last week. I was able to focus and center myself pretty easily--but I do my best meditations in the morning. I found myself moving into trance and had to force myself to look around. It was very refreshing!

The intoning was new and very different for me. I tend to view all music from a musicians standpoint, and I found the randomness of the notes to be rather distracting. I am currently working on an "Awen," for lack of a better word. It is more of a grove attunement that includes a centering and a vocalization designed to induce a meditative state and to cycle energy. It works for me, but I have never played it for anyone else...seems I need a guinea pig. Hmmm.... It would actually go well with Lughnassadh, because of the imagery in the words.

The opening of the gates and the welcoming of the Kindred were very powerful. There was a lot of heart put into it. I know this ritual in particular is a lot more about show, but the piety was there. The show was there, but the strength behind it was worship and devotion to the gods. MJD told the story of Sulis and Taranus for our working portion of the rite. It was very entertaining. Storytelling is a skill I have gotten pretty good at (three children) so I was happy to see someone else who speaks in the voices of his characters! Well done. We did not take omens so much as we had S use a divination tool I have not seen before--kinda like a di, with multiple sides. Our gifts from the Kindred were Community, Healing and Growth.

We ended the rite shortly thereafter as the first act on the stage behind us was beginning. The omens spoke greatly to me. I have been seeking community and healing, and I am finding both. I had a difficult (for me) conversation with S as we walked back to the tent about losing some important people in my life.

I still find it difficult to talk about (especially since some of the health problems of my ancestors are beginning to manifest themselves in me), but time brings healing and acceptance. I fear I was a bit neurotic during our conversation, but I think he understands. :) I look forward to growth. I find that new growth has a way of repairing the hurt parts of me and making them into something else more fruitful and useful. I met several other members of the grove, and everyone is so nice. I am looking forward to getting to know everyone better and becoming a bigger part of the 3CG family. My heart is full.

Summer Solstice Ritual

I arrived just before the pre-ritual briefing. There were nine people there, and adding me rounded us out to a nice, even ten. It was a beautiful day. The sky was promising eventual rain, but our spirits were high and no amount of rain was going to keep us from the task at hand. Besides, the gods don’t care if it’s raining!

During the briefing, it became clear that this was going to be a group-effort, with everyone taking responsibility for various parts of the rite. Like the Grove member’s said, today’s ritual was apparently for the family. This is significant to me. I have not belonged to a religious group, or affiliated with, or worshiped along side of, or done much more than practice my solitary faith in several years. The idea that I was accepted on this day as family, and they meant it, was deeply moving to me.

We did the Outdweller’s Offering just off the path and processed in about twenty-five feet. Not far, but far enough to get the mood established. The attunements and songs chosen for the day helped to remind us that summer is a joyful time, a time of smiling, laughter and happiness. We could hear the children playing on the playground and the soft murmur of the other picnickers. I had a difficult time focusing during the meditations, but I did enjoy communing with the sounds of the season, and my mind was eventually set properly for the task at hand.

The opening of the gates was not as disorienting as at Beltane, since I was prepared for it, but it did fill me with reverence for meeting with the Kindred. It was comforting, like being at prayer at home. I made my first fire offering to the Kindred. After a long history of fear of fire, and two house fires in my immediate friend’s and family member’s homes—one two weeks ago in which everything was lost, I think it went well. I was not aware that pouring wine onto a fire is the equivalent of pouring water, which makes me feel silly for choosing it was my offering (or for not offering it in the right place), but since there was little chance of it going up (like Michael’s offering) it was a good choice for me. (Maybe at Lughnassadh I will try whiskey—or just pour my wine by the tree.)

Our Deity of the occasion was Belenos, the God of Heavenly Light. I think that in the future I will make a point of knowing who our Deity is before I arrive at ritual, so that I may be prepared to offer to Him (or Her) as well. Though I did not bring an offering for Him, the prayers and words lifted to Him during the Main offering were inspiring.

When we moved to the omens, I was not surprised that our offerings were not accepted. (Knight of Spears: No.) I have been having some troubles in this area, and I was almost expecting this. I misplaced the mini pinecone I found on a hike that I was planning on offering to my patron, which is not that big of a deal…unless you (I) do not make any other offerings in its stead. Several of us made additional offerings; I poured an additional quantity of wine around the fire for Persephone. Our offerings were then accepted. (Three of Spears: Yes.)
The messages the gods have for us in return indicate a time of celebration, growth and merriment. (Four of Spears: High spirits, recognition and celebration are all at hand. Now is the time to move on to a new phase of growth. Much will be gained from the upcoming experiences that will bring about a stronger sense of community and closeness to others. Forge ahead with confidence and goodwill.)

And finally, the Kindred have asked from us in return, or in this instance I prefer to think of it as our homework, is to let go of a painful past/past sorrows. (Five of Swords, Reversed: a time where the focus is too broad and details are being missed. It's important to step back and examine everything that is happening, and to recognize the little things [including the things that are holding us back.] Pay attention to detail.)

I did note that the interpretations from my deck are a little different than the ones we received during the omen. They are different decks, and omens are read as is appropriate for the Grove at the time, even if not in the strictest sense of the card’s meaning. I feel the interpretations of the omens were entirely correct, and I trust that I heard what was meant for my ears and spirit to hear. I have some terribly painful sorrows from the past, especially in matters of religion. It has been a difficult journey, but I feel that these omens are telling us that it is time to let the past be the past and move ahead into the future. I have also gathered that others present received similar internal messages.

We ended the rite beautifully, and shared a meal by the fire. It was a very nice evening, and I have made many new friends. I am beginning to really feel that I belong in this Grove.

On a personal note, I finally inquired about becoming a friend of the Grove. I am nervous about moving away from solitary practice, but I am grateful for what I have learned and for the ability to practice on my own. Here’s why:

Once I was home, I found the pine cone. It was on the counter with the dirty dishes, of all places. It did not belong to me, so I felt that I could not keep it. I held an additional full ritual the following day instead of just doing my daily devotional. I have added a Trigaranus representation to my shrine, and I am working with him as my gatekeeper. Opening the gates went very well. I seem to have found a gatekeeper that is willing to work with me. I welcomed the Kindred from my heart and not with a written work this time. I spent a little time just talking to them. For my offering, I lit the pinecone in the sand where I usually burn my cones, and it burned just like incense with no flame and a nice pine-scented smoke. It took a while to burn, and per my last conversation with Persephone, I waited patiently and even began to sing while it burned. The words they gave me in song are as follows:
Smoke and Fire and Well and Tree
I give my love to the Kindred, Three.
Ancestors, Nature Spirits, Mighty Sidhe,
Shining Ones—Accept my offering!
I have not gotten to the place where I lose track of time yet, but I think this was a step in the right direction.

I took omens, and this is what I have learned:
1. Was my offering accepted? Six of Swords (Science, Focus) and Four of Disks (Power). (These cards stuck together, so I have kept them both)—Yes.
2. Gifts the Kindred Offer in Return? Nine of Swords (Cruelty)-Needs Dignified-Adjustment (VIII-Justice) Anxiety is clouding the truth and stifling creativity, but balance, honesty and harmony are there. Use wisdom in decision making and be sure to weigh options carefully. In short, I interpret this as a sign that I need to boost my confidence. I must not be failing as badly as I think I am!
3. Further Needs the Kindred have of me? Knight of Disks—Two of Disks: Outward emulation. Move forward with effectiveness and grace with head held high. Do not be ashamed of what you do. Remember for whom you do it. But, be flexible. Pagan ritual is in no way meant to be inflexible and absent of spontaneity. Join in this spirit and have fun! (The King of Pentacles is a card that typically just represents me. I read here that this card means they need me to be me. I threw the second card because this card has been the “me” card so many times that I needed more information.)

I regret that I closed the gate before I dismissed the Kindred, which I am assuming is like slamming a door in their faces. I feel immensely guilty about that. I almost opened them back up to apologize, but I decided to make another attempt this week with an apologetic offering in addition to the main offering. I hope they are understanding of us new ones for things like this!