Friday night, we played our rescheduled gig at Donerick's, where Jason blew my PA head a few weeks ago. And it was amazing!
Helen was in town for the weekend, and she sang the first five songs with me. I cannot even begin to express to you the joy that is singing with Helen. Harmonies are a gift from the Gods, to be sure, and I could almost feel myself surrounded by the host of Musai as we sang and disappeared into our musical oblivion. I haven't achieved this musical state of bliss in ages, and this, THIS is what I have been missing--that freedom gained from a total abandon into the music; to reach that state where you aren't playing the song anymore, the song is playing you. (It has occurred to me, also, that this is ecstatic trance. Please refrain from the beginning the usually obligatory "I told you so" montage.)
After Helen left, I played a couple more, and then we moved into the rotation, some mine, some Jeremy's, some duets, etc. I played quite a bit after the set break, since Jeremy's voice isn't yet strong enough to sing for more than one or two hours. I was able to fill a number of requests, which made me excessively happy. Honestly, I was surprised to have folks making requests. After the last show we played, I had resigned myself to being "ignored background noise," at best, but the patrons actually enjoyed us. They were attentive and free with applause and praise. Heh, I even left with two phone numbers (and the men didn't get any). There is also something to be said about playing well and KNOWING that you played well. I heard a voice coming out the speakers that was both pleasing and emotive, and that voice, so fortunately, belonged to me.
But I wax poetically...
I feel like my batteries were recharged, like whatever was broken inside of me has been fixed. I was comfortable in front of the mic again. Let's see if this holds true at Trillium's bardic circle. Playing for pagans is still a big challenge for me, and I haven't yet identified the root of this issue. I can play for four hours for a bar full of friends and strangers, but two songs in front of a room full of pagans can almost shut me down. What is it about you guys that is so intimidating as to almost shred my self-confidence?
On a lighter and even more personal note, it is the birthday of someone important to me today. Though there is much distance between us, I hope he knows that I thought of him and sent him much happiness and love today. Happy Birthday, A. May all your birthday wishes come true.